Thoughts I've thunk while sippin' at a cup of tea and reading something provoking, often get dropped here for the benefit of humanity and my own hubris.
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The other day, I took my little family for a stroll in the woods, and at one point, I turn to my wife and said, “It’s hot in the sun.” She looked and me and we both wondered the same thing: When did my name change to Mr. Obvious Stater.
In my defense, I will claim that it is useful to state the obvious when trying to teach your two year old various language skills … like talking. But I know, I wasn’t talking to my two year old at the time… maybe it has just become habit.
Don’t you hate it when you become what you detest?
I hate getting those Obvious “Life” Statements in my In box. I hate them almost as much as the regular dose of platitudes that I receive. I don’t care who the quotes are attributed to … if it is obvious, why bother? I mean, sure I might pay more attention to it if George Carlin says, “Keep only cheerful friends and don’t take any guilt trips,” but that is only because I’m expecting something funny. You might as well attribute the quotes to my cousin Dupree.
I mean this latest one sitting in my In box … “Cherish your health … Tell people you love them … Keep learning …” I won’t bore you with the rest of these, but aren’t they just a bit obvious?
I know, I know, there are a number of you out there that will say, “But it is nice to be reminded of them.” Hell, I ought to send out an email and attribute it to Abraham Lincoln that says things like, “Floss your teeth” and “Drink some water.”
What am I saying here? I can do better than that … let’s see if I can take a stab at the next email chain letter. Clearly the best chain email has to strike the right balance between puns, hominims and cliches… oh yeah, you got to have a healthy sprinkling of cliches … Cliches are the fiber of the email chain letter food chain.
- Floss only the teeth you want to keep and wash only the parts of your body you want kissed.
- Keep only your cheerful friends, commit the rest.
- Enjoy the simple things, like food, clothing and shelter.
- Tears happen often … especially when you are the father of a two year old, who’s head is the exact same height as your crotch.
- Surround yourself with what you love … like money.
- Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the number taken above water.
- Since 90% of your body is water, you should drink at least that much in water every day … wait, that is only if you loose all that water … ah hell, just drink a lot of water.
Ok, maybe I am just not talented enough for such a task, and I should leave it up to other more anonymous writers, and I should also stop being such a grouch. 
© 2003-2005, Howard Abrams • Except where otherwise noted, all original content is licensed under a Creative Commons License (see details).
A quote from Douglas Adams from The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy:
One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about human beings was their habit of continually stating and repeating the very very obvious, as in “It’s a nice day,” or “You’re very tall,” or “Oh dear, you seem to have fallen down a thirty-foot well, are you all right?” At first, Ford had formed a theory to account for this strange behavior. If human beings don’t keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths probably seize up. After a few months’ consideration and observation, he abandoned this theory in favor of a new one. If they don’t keep on exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working. After a while, he abandoned this one as well as being obstructively cynical and decided he quite liked human beings after all, but he always remained desperately worried about the terrible number of things they didn’t know about.Comment posted on Friday, 25 June 2004
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