Twisting an old meme, David Chin, listed what he would take with him to a deserted island… and then leave, and asks, what you would leave there.

Speaking as one who has just recently cleaned out his garage, most of what I would leave on a desert island has now been left in a landfill in the Clackamas County dump…

And while I feel awful about contributing to filling up a valley with post-consumer rubbish, it feels great to not see it in my garage. I suppose I should feel bad about acquiring it in the first place. Everything I purchase should stand the test of time and stay with me forever!

If I had that motto as a lad, I suppose I’d still be wearing pooka shells and bell bottoms. Actually, they are coming back, so in one bizarre twist, I’d actually be ahead of the fashion curve.

Now that I’m an old man, most of what is around me in my house will probably get cleaned out by my children as they drag me to a convalescent home.

But my wife has a lot of things I’d like to leave on a desert island… a lot of shoes, in particular. In fact, yesterday, she came home with a new pair that she bought because they were “cute” and “on sale.” And while you may be thinking it, do not let any of the following out of your mouth:

• Are you sure you don’t already have that pair in your closet? I could swear, I just saw that. Oh… that pair is brown, right.

• They look pretty manly to be called cute. I didn’t mean it that way, but I’m sure my Dad would like a pair. We should get him some for his birthday.

• Do you think you might actually wear this pair? I mean, you have shoes that haven’t seen your toes since the store where you tried them on.

I think I better stop there, for you never know if and when your wife discovers that you’ve been blogging. Hey, she tells everyone everything. Once over lunch, my brother-in-law casually offers congratulations on my wife’s pregnancy… and this was the first I had heard about it.

And once again, I’m off in the proverbial weeds…

I used to listen to a local jazz station’s program they called “Desert Island Discs” so let’s try making a list of “Desert Island Undiscs” of things that are currently in my collection:

• Abba’s Greatest Hits … but I can’t get rid of this, or my three year old daughter would kill me.
• How the hell did I get so many copies of Enya’s only CD? I mean, they have different covers, but they all sound the same.
• I’m a bitter old man, so why do I need all of these whiney rich girl CDs from Tori Amos?
• This “Exile in Guyville” is a keeper if just for the picture of Liz Phair on the inside liner. I’m positive I can see a nipple if I just squint enough.
• How the hell did Barney’s Greatest Hits make it in my MP3 collection? I guess my three year old is better at Napster than I thought.
• Christmas with Ray Conniff? But I don’t even like Xmas music. I know, I’m kinda of a bahhummbugger, but you gotta love me for it.

This is just too painful. I’ll clean out my collection one of these days.