The title came from a lecture given by Adam Freeland (taken from the Nowism podcast from Zencast.org) in reference to that state of alert stillness… in touch with that primal energy of Being before it becomes beings.

It seems that just about every tradition describes this state as both primary origin and ultimate destination. In the Hebrew tradition, Adam, when originally created, was androgynous… a being in a state of innocence and simplicity. Adam was then separated into He and She, and together, they made more He’s and She’s. The Gnostic Christians talked of the ultimate as the union of this original male and female aspects, symbolized as marriage.

Plato describes the Ultimate was formless, but it was the origin of all forms that begets all forms. The Tao is similarly described as a single source of energy before it becomes the “mother of the ten thousand things.” And yes, each of us is included in that collection.

Just like all things issued from this ultimate source of everything, the goal is to return. To return to the Garden. To be in this state of being is described in every tradition… the Christian beatific vision, the Hindu nirvana and the Buddhist enlightenment.

However, this state is near impossible to describe, but recognized immediately once basking in it— essentially an ineffable mystery that can be experienced. To quote Adam Freeland again, “To be here in state of such simplicity that even the desire to understand is put aside.”

But for me, this state is fleeting, and the memory seems to be little more than the rustle of the curtains after Cupid’s escape. While I won’t call it a sisiphean effort to return to that state, sometimes after my butt is numb and I’m anxious about work, I might as well be pushing a boulder up a mountain.

Ivar Sarapu in Hawaii said:

Your story is unique, as well as my situation. It seems that the many original ideas are able to come readily but then they languish in a state of incompleteness. It brought me to the realization that ideas come swiftly, then I work on them into a “middle ground“ but then they seem to stagnate at that point, never quite reaching fruition or a suitable and conclusive outcome. Is this a personal ‘quirk‘ of mine or is a pervasive problem afflicting more people than just myself?

P.S. I like your site. I found it while doing a google image search for “birds nests” for a graphic design project at the University of Hawaii. Also, I am just learning Visual Basic . NET and your posts about programming are very useful to my (mis-)understandings about computer programming. And your philosophical stories are relevant to my World Religion class. This site is like a newfound friend! I‘m going to bookmark it and check in more often. Thanks a lot and keep up the good works!

Thanks for the kind words, and you’ll excuse me a moment while I blush.