I was taking pictures of my children playing with a huge yoga ball, when I accidentally snapped a picture of the ball in front of a Buddha statue I have in my yard. We know the cliché a picture is worth a thousand words, but in this case, the contrast between the serenity of the statue and the surrounding greenery with the incompatible and inharmonious blue ball inspired a thousand words. I guess that is what happens with the collision of two worlds.

Sometimes my world of “being a parent” collides with my philosophical world with all its Buddhist leanings. I’m intrigued with the lies. First there are the ones where you dumb-down an answer for your five-year old until it just isn’t true. But those aren’t nearly as despicable as the real whoppers involving Santa Claus and other magical beings on high.

But what about the more subtle yet more subversive interactions where we encourage and nurture a fledgling ego, all the while knowing what a pain in the ass that ego will become. My philosophy has altered over the years, and I would recommend Nietzsche and Ayn Rand to teenagers just starting out the gate, but with the caveat that either of those philosophies will eventually putter out.

Then they should move on to Existentialism, but this too can’t be taken to its conclusion. I think it is a good goal for each person to evaluate their being regularly and take their soul to greener pastures. Finding meaning for your life is a worthwhile, but constant goal.

Eventually life settles down a bit, and, at least for me, the philosophy associated with Buddhism enriches the soil wasted by the American Dream. But I don’t think you can come to it early in life— a young person wouldn’t appreciate it.

And here is where parenting is so tricky. For this is just one example of something you almost have to hold back from your children, and let them fluff their ego and trump their confidence. Let them go out to battle the world for stuff, and when the air has been kicked from them, perhaps then it is time to bring out the really good stuff.

An Update

I’ve been stewing over this article ever since I first wrote it. It almost sounds as if I know it all, but all us old farts know that age doesn’t confer wisdom. Perhaps life should always be … uhm, so amusing. One’s inner search is nothing short of sisyphean.

But parenting is not just about what one can do for your children. They add a bit to the broth too, and what better way to learn the value of patience (and to demostrate how little you have), just raise a couple of kids.

I found it annoying when my daughter would interrupt my morning rituals, but how good is my sophic thoughts if I’m so easily catapulted from my cushion? I’ve not only worked through that, but now actually enjoy it when she enters my room, still rubbing the sleep from her eyes, and plops herself down on my lap while I’m meditating… and let’s not forget how in my house, yoga is a contact sport.