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Chatting with My Daughter

One day, while working in my office, I got an instant message … I thought it was from my wife, but it actually was from my 5 year old daughter, who confiscated her computer.

While I've been wanting her to practice reading and writing, I might as well teach her the finer points of being a teen-ager while I am at it. She was so excited at being able to read and write, that I every morning this week, I would get a new message from her.

Flora:

hlow

Flora:

it;s me flora

Daddy:

Hi Flora. How was school?

Flora:

goo the is r las day in shin
(Good. This is our last day in China … You see, her kindergarten class was pretending to visit China this week)

Flora:

i am gowing to swemklas at konsog at tooday ad frsday
(I am going to swim class at Connestoga today and Friday)

Daddy:

That's great!

Flora:

yes

Daddy:

That will be fun.

Flora:

piay wis you

Daddy:

OK

Daddy:

What will we play?

Flora:

kad gams
(Kid games)


Flora:

das funn
(That's funny … In response to a picture I sent her)

Daddy:

Very funny.

Flora:

in may charile wiw be in konsdog
(In May, Charlie will be in Connestoga … for swimming classes)

Daddy:

Is he playing Cogs?††Cogs is what we call Disney's online game, ToonTown, which my 3 year old is addicted to

Flora:

no he wos me to piay wis me
(No, He wants to play with me)

Flora:

naw he is piay cogs
(Now, he is playing Cogs)

Flora:

goobiy
(Good-bye)

Flora:

he is wot to to to you
(He wants to talk to you … That is, Charlie wants to talk)

Charlie:

aaisolk.alz.a,ln.wnx.qwikz,qke,,qmq,qjwkoqiiqajkqai

Charlie:

mdk,amjdksnjrfkldnwskldhqakdchjelfjmsxdldj

Charlie:

lf;edledp[fkld;lpfdlfdkledokledskldckl,sap[qA (I can't translate that)


Flora:

hi…it's me FLORA

Flora:

hlow daddy

Flora:

say supeg

Flora:

i love you daddy

Flora:

i did not gow to sgoowo to day
(I did not go to school today … on account that she is sick)

Flora:

hi..it's Flora

Daddy:

Hi Flora! Sorry, I was not here.

Daddy:

How are you?

Flora:

good

Flora:

i took medsid it ws wos (I took medicine, it was … uhm … worse? I dunno that one)

Flora:

say syupeg
(Say something.)

Daddy:

Are you going to your club?

Flora:

tooday its my club

Daddy:

I have to meet with some men. I will talk to you soon.

Flora:

i love you daddy

Flora:

haw di you git to wrc sofast
(How did you get to work so fast … I don't know why she asked this)

Flora:

mom is goweg to tip supeg to you
(Mom is going to type something to you)


Flora:

hlow daddy

Daddy:

Hi Flora. How are you feeling today?

Flora:

bedr (Better)

Daddy:

That is good!

Flora:

that is good

Daddy:

Yes. What are you going to do today?

Flora:

i am goweg to the docd an swimeg (I am going to the doctor and swimming)

Daddy:

Your day is all full.

Flora:

yes

Flora:

i love you daddy

Daddy:

I love you, too.

Flora:

we f got to hav a prdd lasnit (We forgot to have a party last night)

Flora:

we rgoweg to cisbdonusn bt i am not gowc to hav a donut bcs i wot a swet at the swimpoowo
(We are going to KrispyKrap Donuts but I am not going to have a donut because I got a treat at the swimming pool)

Daddy:

That is good. A donut will not make you feel better.

Flora:

d addy win cod sday at your wrc
(When could (I play) at your work?)

Daddy:

You can come today. We can have lunch.

Flora:

i can hav lunch win i am not sic
(I can have lunch when I am not sick)

Flora:

say supeg
(Say something)

Flora:

say supeg

Daddy:

Sorry, I had to go to the bath room.

Flora:

ok i wiw wat (OK I will wait.)

Daddy:

But, I am back.

Flora:

hlow daddy

Daddy:

Is it raining?

Flora:

no

Flora:

what 100 = 100
(She couldn't figure out how to make a + sign)

Daddy:

You mean 100 + 100?

Flora:

i dt no
(I don't know)

Flora:

wud you ples asr mi cwesin
(Would you please answer my question? … However, I thought she wanted me to ask her a question…)

Daddy:

OK. Let's see … what is 12 + 3?

Flora:

mi cwesnn is wt is 100 = 100 (My question is what is 100 + 100?)

Daddy:

Oh! That is 200.

Flora:

HODON I HAFTOP DO SUPEG (Hold on, I have to do something)

Daddy:

OK. I will be right back. I am going to go get something to eat. Bye.

Flora:

BIY BIY DADDY


Flora:

hlow daddy

Daddy:

Hi Flora.

Daddy:

How was school today?

Flora:

good we are lrneg ubat rs
(Good, we are learning about Mars … Good thing she told me about studying Venus, or I don't know if I would have guessed what "rs" was)

Daddy:

What did you learn about Mars? What color is Mars?

Flora:

i do not now anseg wbawt mara. (I do not know the answer about mars)

Daddy:

Mars is red.

Daddy:

Did you get a new book?

Flora:

yes

Daddy:

What is the book called?

Flora:

i love my shaddw!

Daddy:

That sounds good. Do you have a shadow?

Flora:

yes

Daddy:

Is it raining?

Flora:

no

Daddy:

Is it snowing?

Flora:

no

Daddy:

Is it cloudy?

Flora:

no

Daddy:

Is it sunny?

Flora:

no

Daddy:

If it is not sunny, then clouds must be over the sun … that makes it cloudy.

Flora:

ow (Oh)

Flora:

BIY BIY DADDY

Daddy:

Bye.

Daddy:

I love you, Flora.

Flora:

i love you daddy

Flora:

Now it's her Mamma.

Daddy:

Hey, Babe …

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